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CONLANG  September 2000, Week 5

CONLANG September 2000, Week 5

Subject:

HUMOUR: "EuroEnglish": is this for real???

From:

Jonathan Chang <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Constructed Languages List <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Sat, 30 Sep 2000 14:46:46 EDT

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (37 lines)

>"EuroEnglish"
> >The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
> >reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
> >communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
> >As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
>phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
>       In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
Sertainly,
> >sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will
>be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
> >kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond >>year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will
make words like
> >'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
> >         In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
> >will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
> >deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
> >silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
>       By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
'th'
> >by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.
>       During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
> >'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of
> >leters.
> >     After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b
no
>mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

    *Gigglabyte*

    czHANg

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