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SCUBA-L  April 2001, Week 1

SCUBA-L April 2001, Week 1

Subject:

NED FAQ

From:

"Huntzinger, Hugh A [AMSTA-AR-CCL-B]" <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Scuba diving discussion list <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Sun, 1 Apr 2001 08:49:20 -0400

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (274 lines)

4/1/01:

The New-&-Improved Official NED FAQ
version 1.3 22 November '94

The FAQ was htmlized on 27 April 1995, by Nick Simicich. Minor revisions
were made to the FAQ while converting it to HTML.

For serious scuba questions, the rec.scuba FAQ may be a good source of
information. It will also lead you to other information sources.

Major Revisions from v1.0 (1 April 94) are in Q7 and Q10.

Please send ideas for additions, deletions, corrections, and comments to the
ad hoc committee members (via E-MAIL please, not
<[log in to unmask]>) on the construction of better NED FAQ for
future use:


Tony Kuhlman (Committee chair):
[log in to unmask]
Diane Palme (NED "dive babe"):
[log in to unmask]
Hugh Huntzinger (NED Ghostwriter):
[log in to unmask]

1. Why a NED FAQ?
2. What is a FAQ?
3. What is a NED? What is NED?
4. How did NED get started?
5. How do I become a member of NED? How do I apply for membership?
6. How do I become an Officer of NED?
7. Is NED a local, regional, national, or international organization?
8. OK, beyond an inside joke, what good is NED?
9. Just how serious is NED?
10. Why is NED so "Americano-centric"?
11. Why does the list tolerate being flooded with this 'NED' garbage?
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why a NED FAQ?

The term "NED" or "Ned" appeared in the "Subject" of SCUBA-L postings 196
times in the months of Nov. 93 - Feb. 94 alone, and many, many more times in
the texts of other postings. It has evolved through "natural selection" by
SCUBA-L contributors into an "inside joke" in SCUBA-L to the bewilderment of
new subscribers to the LIST.

The question "What is a NED?" is appearing with ever-increasing frequency in
postings by new subscribers, and has become a source of ire to many readers
(old and new, pro or con NED) because of the non-scuba clutter the ANSWERS
to that question generated.



    > Date: Tue, 22 Feb 1994 13:26:00 EST
    > From: "Tony.Kuhlman" <[log in to unmask]>
    >
    > ARRRGH!!! Can't this question be put in the FAQ??

Thus, the FAQ is intended to help reduce such clutter on SCUBA-L while
keeping the spirit of fun and comradery about NED, and giving new
subscribers a quick submersion into NED spirit and humor.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is a FAQ?

The acronym for "Frequently Asked Questions". It's a standard term used in
discussion LISTS, but the question itself has become a FAQ.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is a NED? What is NED?

It is the National Endowment for Divers. Here in America the government
takes a percentage of our tax money and pays people to dive.

Other people have different opinions. Tony Kuhlman posted several different
answers in the past, each of which not only defines the acronym, but
describes the intangibles of NED as well. Example: Tue, 22 Feb 1994 13:26:00
EST

NED stands for the Network of Egghead Divers. It's a fictitious organization
aimed at fostering world peace, proper tire rotation, and the location of
conferences and seminars in locations around the world that have great
diving. Its officers and members are made up of an elite group of largely
self-appointed people who tend to score high on HQ (Humor Quotient) tests.
Most of these people have little respect for authority, including the rest
of the NED officers. On the other hand, they tend to have great respect for
a cold bottle of beer, especially if it's the next one. Catch my drift?

Expressed across the pond, Wed, 19 Jan 1994 10:08:40 +0000, by pitts_c_s
<[log in to unmask]>

NED is the Network of Egghead Divers. It is a special organization which has
experts on absolutely everything. Some are even competent. Innumerable posts
exist, but not just anyone can obtain these well respected (?) positions in
the Network. You need to have special skills and knowledge. And more than a
touch of megalomania coupled with well developed dictatorial tendencies....

Hugh Huntzinger says that a NED is a Natto Evading Diver.

If you don't get the drift now, you are not NED material. However, an
anonymous deposit of a large sum of $ or pound Sterling in the NED Treasury
will expedite a change of definition for NED.

Now some miscellaneous FAQs about NED itself:
------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. How did NED get started?



    > Date: Fri, 25 Oct 1991 16:41:00 EDT
    > From: "Alan H. Friedberg" <[log in to unmask]>
    > Announcing the formation of NED (Network of Egghead Divers).

------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do I become a member of NED? How do I apply for membership?

If you asked that question publicly, you will be approached by numerous NED
Officers and VPs who will tell you to send them varying amounts of funds for
membership fees. However, in truth, the ONLY requirement for NED membership
is a self-assessed high score in HQ (Humo(u)r Quotient). Membership is
automatic for anyone who is a NED wannabe. Let's hear it from the
appropriate NED Officer:

The above is "unsummarized" in a Jan. 1994 posting:

Well, let's see. There are 2 ways to apply for membership in NED. The first
requires 1) several letters of reference from all the left-handed Supreme
Court justices currently seated (or whatever equivalent body you have in
your country) all testifying to your high moral character, and 3) a large
cash deposit in any of the more stable currencies currently available in the
world (IE, Deutchmarks (sp?), pounds, dollars (US, Canadian, Australian, or
Bermudian). This last requirement will be waived if first-class airline
tickets and confirmation of reservations for 2 weeks of diving on the Great
Barrier Reef, the Red Sea, or Truk Lagoon are substituted.

The 2nd method to apply for membership is to just make up a pompous title
and appoint yourself to the office. Most people take this approach, for some
reason.

Tony Kuhlman Chair of the NED Membership Qualifications Committee

------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do I become an Officer of NED?
 Are elections held? Do I have to campaign for office? Do I need to have a
scandalous past?

NEDs appoint themselves to whatever Office or Title of Vice President in
whatever subject whenever they want. There are unlimited number of such
positions. Examples:


30 Oct 91 Hugh H
VP, NED Inactive Membership Outreach Committee
31 Oct 91 Tony K
VP In Charge Of Official Stuff
31 Oct 91 Tony K
NED VP In Charge Of Important (but undefined) Stuff
3 Nov 93 Diane P
NED social director
4 Nov 93 Diane P
NED scapegoat and archiver
4 Nov 93 Diane P
NED Junk Mail Delivery Site
19 Jan 94 Alan F
NED Founding Farter
There are literally hundreds of NED Officers, many more than the total
number of NEDs, because multiple-title holders are the rule than the
exception. Tony K is the current champion title holder of the most number of
NED Titles. Hint: He had a few years' head start than most.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. Is NED a local, regional, national, or international organization?

Yes**4. Four days after NED was founded, it became International:



    > Date: Tue, 29 Oct 1991 17:33:00 CST
    > From: ADRIAN TOLEDANO <[log in to unmask]>
    >
    > Glad to inform you of the first NED foreign office !!
    >
    > Adrian. NED-MEXICO
    > Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1991 18:18:00 N
    > From: [log in to unmask]
    >
    > NED GERMANY would like to join this worldwide movement!
    > Volker

Here are some International Officers and Gentlemen:


UK 30 Oct 93 Cos P
NED Official appriciator of fine .Sigs
IT 19 Jan 94 Max L
NED wannabe Italian Officer
UK 19 Jan 94 Chris P
NED Training Officer and self employed megalomaniac
UK 23 Feb 94 Ruffty
NED Chief Lost Snorkel Inspector.
SA 23 Feb 94 Gerrit C
NED Statistician
------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, beyond an inside joke, what good is NED?

NED has become an excuse for meeting fellow divers. While it exists
worldwide on Internet, there are also opportunities for regional activities
where NEDs meet NEDs, such as MidWest Meet, Southern Meet, and a new list
SCUBA-SE formed by NEDs to discuss get-together Meets for SE USA divers.
Europe is NED'ing. That's the people-comradery aspects of NED.

Furthermore, there are NEDs who are information packrats of their favorite
vacation spot(s). Information a bit less biased than "certain magazines" can
be had, consisting of both accurate and the not-so-accurate, personal
opinion and bias, things to see/avoid and the like. All a site needs to join
this elite(?) group is a self-appointed volunteer.

We DON'T want:


1. To give the impression that readers should NOT ask questions on the
net to EVERYBODY simply because there is a "resource person" for site-X.
2. To give the erroneous impression that the "resource person"
necessarily knows more about site-X than some others on the net.
3. The existence of "resource person" to restrict the free flow of
"dive experiences" at site-X by readers.
In all, the more diversity of opinion, the merrier.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just how serious is NED?

As little as possible. However, recognizing society's tone, full
intellectual property rights are retained, including alternate meanings of
'NED' such as "Network of Electronic Divers" and the like: this material is
Copyright ) 1994 Hugh Huntzinger. Full disclaimers for responsibility and
liability are claimed. Using NED to conduct serious business or for personal
gain is taboo. You get the idea.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is NED so "Americano-centric"?

This is a general Internet problem. Many listmembers are in the USA and it's
easy to think that everyone lives next door. List etiquette requests that
you think of others WORLDWIDE whenever you post. This means being specific
in posting locations, avoid excessive bandwidth as a courtesy for those who
don't have the storage space, or who *pay* for access, and so forth.
Repeated overstepping of etiquette are sometimes referred to as "violating
NED regulations" (or "NEDiquette violation"). The chapter and verse cited
are very hard to find, since they don't exist. It's a NED method of
self-regulation of NED excesses.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does the list tolerate being flooded with this 'NED' garbage?

NED acts as comedy relief, a mental "safety valve" for when people get too
fried with work or are tired of net flame wars. Fortunately, most of the
time "NED" traffic is properly identified in the subject line for those who
wish to skip it entirely.

NED has had the benefit of rooting out...mostly through curiousity...the
list's newest subscribers and gets them involved in the daily discussions.
The reader must decide if this "benefit" justifies NED's existence.

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