Favorite presenting complaints from the Bronx ER:
"can't sleep after watching rescue 911" (they took an ambulance)
"jumping around after eating hot peppers"
"fell out of window 8 years ago, had headache 3 weeks ago, wants xray"
"he's doing that thing he does when he wants to have sex"
"wants a diet to lose weight"
"bitten by an unknown mosquito" (as opposed to all the ones he does know personally)
"having symptoms of heartless breathing" (according to PALS, that's impossible)
"she's on fire" (fever)
"having abdominal cramps after taking 'Super Colon Cleanse' tablets"
Ok, I'll stop now.
Angela Tama Zang, MD
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