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CONLANG Home

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CONLANG  September 2001, Week 4

CONLANG September 2001, Week 4

Subject:

HUMOUR: comparative Christian theology

From:

J Y S Czhang <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Constructed Languages List <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Sat, 22 Sep 2001 21:37:59 EDT

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (43 lines)

How many _____ does it take to change a light bulb?:

_Charismatics_: Only one. Hands are already in the air...

_Pentecostals_: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
spirit of darkness.

_Presbyterians_: None. Lights will go on and off at pre-destined times.

_Roman Catholic_: None. Candles only.

_Baptists_: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees
to approve the change and decide who brings the fried chicken, potato
salad, and iced tea.

_Episcopalians_: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how
much they liked the old one better.

_Mormons_: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how
to do it.

_Unitarians_: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have
found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a
poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your
light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday
service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

_Methodists_: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday, August 19. Bring bulb of
your choice and a covered dish.

_Nazarene_: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church
lighting policy.

_Lutherans_: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

_Amish_: What's a light bulb?

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