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CONLANG  July 2013, Week 2

CONLANG July 2013, Week 2

Subject:

Cat Language (was: Prairie Dog Language - and Other Interesting Miscellanea)

From:

Padraic Brown <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Padraic Brown <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Tue, 9 Jul 2013 15:55:20 -0700

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (45 lines)

> From: Garth Wallace <[log in to unmask]>

>
>On Mon, Jul 8, 2013 at 10:55 AM, R A Brown <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
>> about the language of cats.  I remember almost nothing about
>> it now, except that it was claimed verbs existed with
>> indicative and imperative mood.
>
>Why would cats have an imperative mood? It's not like they'd follow any commands.


Spoken by someone who has cléarly never been owned by a cat!

A typical exchange between a human (H) and a cat (C):

H: Here Binky Binky Binky! Come on kitty-cat!

C: [Ignores obviously lame attempt by H to attract the attention of a wit-addled Dog]

H: [clicks fingers] Here Binky-Boo! I have a treat for Binky-Boo!

C: [Turns head to face H] Human, for the fourteen thousand eight hundred and ninety
seventh time, my Name is not 'Binky', not 'Binky-Boo', nor indeed any one of the
forty nine inane epithets you regularly use in order to attract my attention. My Name
is, in your language, Eye-of-Ra and also Son-of-Bast. You do well to offer me Treats, 

however, [narrows eyes slightly] I reserve the right to unretract my Claws in order to
chastise you for your inappropriate familiarity.

H: [Rattles tin of Treats]

C: [Languidly arises from the Dais and deigns to grace H with his very presence] [H hears
the Cat speak: "MAU"] Feed me the Treats now, Human. There's a good boy. Yes, I like
the chicken ones. Give me another treat now. Ah, fish. Not as good as the chicken, but
quite palatable. [Purrs] Quite possibly, I shall forgive you for your earlier transgression.

C: [Arises once more and saunters over to door. Sits regally, regarding with considerable
interest a small portion of the door jamb. Waits. Twitches tail with rising impatience. Human
hears the Cat speak again: "MAU"] Open the door now, Human. I must go now and survey
my Realm.


Padraic

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