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CONLANG Home

CONLANG Home

CONLANG  February 2018, Week 4

CONLANG February 2018, Week 4

Subject:

Humor grammaticks

From:

"Paul Schleitwiler, FCM" <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Constructed Languages List <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Tue, 27 Feb 2018 17:47:31 -0600

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (71 lines)

Posted on Facebook by someone who can't take credit for them.

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting
with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a
wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his
magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys
everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we
don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but
hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They
depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute
as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little
sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting
figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles
heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named
Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the
television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the
bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

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