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SCUBA-L  August 1999, Week 4

SCUBA-L August 1999, Week 4

Subject:

Re: Humor

From:

Crusty Russ <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Scuba diving discussion list <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Tue, 24 Aug 1999 00:41:19 -0500

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (45 lines)

Hi Giorgio,
 
It seems that a significant advantage of Butox over Nitrox is that no
exotic processes nor materials are required to make standard equipment
Butox compatible... all you need is some moist towelettes and a roll of
toilet paper.  Butt I'm not really into the "whole-hog-arthian" tech
stuff anyway.  <G>
 
So, where did you go diving for the holidays?
Russ
 
 
Giorgio Soffiati wrote:
>
> Welah folks .....
> back from the holidays and ready to start again.
> Here's to you some humor over suba divers received from another ML:
>
> New Scuba Gas Technology Now Available!
> Thanks to a co-operative development team headed by Navy Divers, USDivers
> and Hormel Chili, new mixed gas rebreathing technology has been developed
> to tap a natural gas source carried in the human body. Project "Butox" was
> created to convert natural body methane into a viable air source using
> existing military rebreather technology. Sgt.Major Ophgaus of the Navy's
> Phlatulence Unit (PU) stated in an interview:
>   "It was a grand idea just sitting under our noses. It came to us in a
> blast of inspiration during chow. Private O'durs happened to be sitting on
> his snorkle when *Phhhrt!* it blew over us."
> The Flatulence Anal Rebreather Tank (FART) technology is basically a rectal
> snorkle hooked into rebreather unit fed by natural body gases. Special care
> has to be taken as to diet prior to dives, and methane exposure limits
> should be observed. The unit has been known to get overloaded by excessive
> amounts of beans, kraut, tofu, and/or cheap beer prior to diving.
> Manufacturers of SpareAir are foreseeing competition of their existing
> product.  Rather than having to carry a redundant air source FART divers
> merely have to pull their finger (or buddy's finger) for air in a pinch.
> While no instances of Butox decompression illness has been reported,
> technicians recommend carrying essential safety equipment on board dive
> boats for emergency treatment of an anal embolism including oxygen
> suppositories and a disposable bic lighter.
>
> Ciao Ciao
>
> Giorgio

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