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CONLANG  October 1999, Week 1

CONLANG October 1999, Week 1

Subject:

Fw: Sent to me from Georgia

From:

JJB <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

Constructed Languages List <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Tue, 3 Aug 1999 14:08:42 -0400

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (104 lines)

Sawthan Slang
>
>The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland cashed in
>by labeling African American slang as the language
>"Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of the seemingly
>endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating
>Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be
>taught in all Southern schools.
>
>A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The
>following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English
>dictionary:
>
>HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
>
>HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
>Usage: Heidi, hire yew?"
>
>BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
>Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
>
>JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is
>Lanner.
>Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
>
>BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is
>Berminhayum.
>Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left
>$20,000,000 in improvements."
>
>MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
>Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I
>ain't herd from him in munts."
>
>THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
>Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>
>IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Alabama native."
>Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
>
>RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
>Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup
>truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
>
>ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
>Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my
>pickup truck."
>
>FAR - noun. A conflagration.
>Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my
>pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
>
>TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
>Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't
>git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
>
>TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
>Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do
>hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
>
>RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
>Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
>
>FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in
>battle or combat.
>Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
>
>FARN - adjective. Not local.
>Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from
>some farn country."
>
>DID - adjective. Not alive.
>Usage: "He's did, Jim."
>
>EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
>Usage: "He cain't breathe....give 'im some ear!"
>
>BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
>Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
>
>JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
>Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job
>th that bob war fence cump'ny?"
>
>HAZE - a contraction.
>Usage: "Is Bubba smart?"  "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't
>thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."
>
>SEED - verb, past tense of "to see."
>
>VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
>Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?"
>
>GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
>Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
>
>
>_______________________________________________________________
>Get your free e-mail / e-card account that helps save wildlife!
>http://www.care-mail.com
>
>
>

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