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I took a very cursory look. The general layout looks nice.
In Inter-Syllable Constraints you refer to terms such as "velar", which
aren't used in the consonant tables. That's a very picky point since we all
know what you mean. The other thing is that the Syllable Structure and
Inter-Syllable Constraints sections might be a little easier to follow if
you used phonemic symbols instead of orthographic. Considering how chaotic
my own descriptions are though ....

Jeff J.

On Thu, 24 Oct 2002 23:12:56 +1000, Adrian Morgan
<[log in to unmask]> wrote:

>Fellows,
>
>I have begun a review of Gzarondan ("Gzarod+in") phonology and
>orthography, as well as experimenting with how best to present these
>in documentation. The results after the first day of review are shown
>below, with the exception of some details such as stress rules and
>regular allophones, neither of which has been altered at this stage.
>
>The symbol '+' represents a diacritic.
>
>Phonological categories are defined according to the needs of the
>language, and sometimes differ from the strict linguistic definitions.
>
>I am very interested in comments, particularly suggestions on likely
>modifications either for Gzarondan itself (if a feature does not
>appear naturalistic) or for an immediate ancestor/descendent (I
>imagine Gzarondan either evolves from or towards a more regular
>phonology).
>
>Adrian.
>
>======================================================================
>
>Vowels and Dipthongs
>--------------------
>
>Short    Long      Closing   Rhotic    Lateral
>Series   Series    Series    Series    Series
>
>                                       ll  /l=/
>a  /a/   aa /a:/                       al  /a5/
>i  /@/   iq /8:/                       iql /85/
>o  /O/   oo /O:/                       ol  /O5/
>e  /E/   ey /e:/             eq /e8/   el  /e5/
>y  /I/   yy /i:/   ay /aI/   yq /i8/   yl  /I5/
>u  /u/   ou /o:/   au /aU/
>
>Note: 'a'  used for /@/  at beginning or end of word [not 'i']
>      'y'  used for /i:/ at end of word [not 'yy']
>      'yy' used for /i8/ before 'r' [not 'yq']
>
>Consonants
>----------
>
>Approx  Second   Primary  Primary  Unvoiced Voiced   Nasals
>imants  ary      Unvoiced Voiced   Stops    Stops
>        Fricat   Fricat   Fricat
>        ives     ives     ives
>
>                 f  /f/            p /p/    b /b/    m /m/
>                 hs /T/   hz /D/
>        r  /r/   s  /s/   z  /z/   t /t/    d /d/    n /n/
>                 c  /S/
>l /l/   hl /K/
>j /j/
>h /h/   kk /x/                     k /k/    g /g/
>
>Syllable-Initial Consonant Structures
>-------------------------------------
>
>L-Series   R-Series   S-Series   F-Series   Affricates
>
>pl /pl/    pr /pr/    sp /sp/
>bl /bl/    br /br/
>           tr /tr/    st /st/               ts /ts/
>           dr /dr/
>kl /kl/    kr /kr/    sk /sk/
>gl /gl/    gr /gr/                          gz /gz/
>                      sf /sf/
>                      sl /sl     fl /fl/
>                                 fr /fr/
>
>Syllable-Final Consonant Structures
>-----------------------------------
>
>p+ /mp/
>t+ /nt/
>d+ /nd/
>
>Orthographic notes
>------------------
>
>Within a word, 'p+', 'b+', 't+', 'd+' are always used for /mp/, /mb/,
>/nt/, /nd/ respectively.
>
>Syllable Structure
>------------------
>
>                       +--------+
>                _______|Syllable|_______
>               /       +--------+       \
>              /             |            \
>          Any              Any            Any
>       consonant          vowel        syllable-
>          or                or           final
>       syllable-        diphthong      structure
>        initial             |           or most
>       structure            |          consonants
>       (or empty)           |          excluding
>           |                |          'h' 'r' 'j'
>           |                |          and voiced
>           |                |          fricatives
>           |                |          (or empty)
>           |                |              |
>           |                |              |
>      +--------------+-------------+-----------+
>Case: | 'r'          | Rhotic Sz.  | ??        | => LEGAL IF STRESSED
>Case: | 'd' or 't'   |    'll'     | ??        | => ILLEGAL
>Case: | L-Sz or R-Sz | Lateral Sz. | non-empty | => ILLEGAL
>Case: | ??           |    'll'     | non-empty | => ILLEGAL
>Case: | ??           |'i' 'iu' 'oo'| 'l'       | => ILLEGAL
>      +--------------+-------------+-----------+
>
>Inter-Syllable Constraints
>--------------------------
>
>Consonant triads illegal unless ALL of the following apply:
> - Begins with velar stop or nasal.
> - Next vowel is not schwa.
>
>Consecutive stops illegal unless the first is velar.
>
>Consecutive fricatives illegal unless ONE OR MORE of the
>following apply:
> - One of them is 'r'.
> - The first is 'kk' or second is 'hl' but not both.
> - One of them is (palato)alveolar and the other is (labio)dental.
>
>Consecutive vowels/diphthongs are always illegal.
>
>A nasal may not be followed by 'r'.
>
>Other restrictions on 'l':
> - A 'tl' may not be followed by schwa.
> - An alveolar stop may not occur between lateral series and ('l' or 'll').
>
>Phonemes cannot be neighbours when this would cause two identical
>phonetic values to be neighbours, where [l] and [5] are considered
>identical.