Nik Taylor wrote, quoting myself:

> > What do you think? Good word?
> Sounds too much like "optical" :-) Makes me think it has something to
> do with vision.

Thanks for the input; I can't say I get that feeling myself, but all
opinions welcomed and so forth. Can you think of an alternative
(probably not; it's a demanding question)?

> Interesting idea. Uatakassi is verb-initial, so the fourth and fifth
> rules would work really well for it, at least, if grammatical variants
> are permitted. It would be more limiting to keep the verb forms
> identical.

I think it would be a interesting to look at how a conlang might
borrow a form of poetry from another culture and modify it according
to the constraints of the new language and the preferences of the new
culture. Such adaptions occur on Earth, and it would be a nice bit of
conhistory (even if unofficial conhistory) to look not only at what
forms of poetry _exist_ in concultures, but the history/evolution of
those forms and how they were (or might be) influenced from abroad.

> Are there any rules about how long lines have to be? By "shorter", does
> this mean "fewer syllables" or "less time to pronounce it" (which would
> be the same, I suppose, in a syllable-timed language, but not
> necessarily in English)

I'd rather let the form evolve than try to confine it too much. The
test of a good poem is that it convinces the reader that the form
chosen was the ideal form to convey the poet's message. It should use
the devices of the form effectively, in other words. The increasing
line length rule, for example, is useful for conveying a sense of

Most rules are guidelines, which is why I posted as many examples as
I could -- as precedents. When one has a hundred or so precedents,
then perhaps it would be time to look for patterns and establish a few
more things in stone. In the meantime, it's perfectly OK to bend the
rules a little as long as one remains true to the spirit of the form.

> The fifth line seems to break the 7th rule, in that it doesn't have "a
> certain degree of independence". Is there something I'm missing here,
> or is that only a guideline?

The real question here is, "is it sensible to pause after each line?"
If so, then it's acceptable.