INTRODUCING Tristan's Amazing Future English Oil, INCORPORATING his
patented Orthographical-Reform Free Method! Conversing at length in
this language five times a day could improve the health of even the
most ailed person! Use it twice a day for your continued health.

This is meant to be possible/reasonable, but no-one said anything about
likely. Obviously it's pretty compatible with modern English...
sometimes the std orthography bit reads pretty much like my youngest
brother telling a story anyway... (Not all mind, I'm trying to make a
future language here after all.)

  PPr: plural present
  SPr: singular present
  DEF:  definite
  INDIC: indicative

A brief summary of some morphology/grammar:

Note that the word order has a greater flexibility than modern English
(the focus can be fronted without any difficulty, for instance), but by
far the most common order is SVO.

Nouns: s~z~@z marks the singular subject; the plural subject is s@~z@~@
but may be the same as the singular. The plural non-subject is usually
undifferentiated from the singular non-subject, the biggest exception
being in irregular nouns.

Pronouns: The language is pro-drop, so these don't crop up as
frequently as in MnE---don't be confused by the apparent commonality of
pronouns in the text, they're verbal inflexions. As with

        Subj.          Other
        Sing  Pl.      Sing.  Pl.
1st    me    we       us     us
2nd    you   youse    you    youse
3rd    they  thase    em     ems

Here when generalisation occurs it tends to be from plural to singular
rather than vice versa, but the distinction is more solid than in the

         1st          2nd                     3rd
         S.     Pl.   S.            Pl.       S.    Pl.
Past    7wz-   w@d-  Gu:-          G@d-      iwz-  v@d-
         I was  we'd  you were      you'd     *     they'd
Present 7m-    we-   G@-           G@z@      @s-   ve-
         I'm    we're you're        youse're  *     they're
Future  aw-    wi-   GVn@                    i-    va-
         I'll   we'll you're gonna            *     they'll

* /@s/ and /i/ are derived from both 'he' and 'it'-based forms; /@s/ is
also very close to the natural evolution of 'she's', which was /s/.
Thus one mostly sees the pronoun for the appropriate (natural) gender
chosen, hence: _he was killing_ /iwzkiwn/, _she's die_ /@sdAi/, _it'll
flying_ /iflAin/. Because I abhor regularity, however, /7i/+ing ->

-ing /@n, n/ is suffixed to active verbs; stative verbs (incl.
adjectives) are unsuffixed.

(Note that narratives are mostly in the present tense, rather than the
past, so the tense is translated accordingly.)

A brief summary of the sound changes:

Consonants: just a few brief comments: /j/ developed two ways: after
consonants it palatised the consonant; otherwise it become /G/. /tS dZ
S Z/ become /t; d; s; z;/ too. Word final clusters are often
simplified, but with schwa-dropping clusters also become more frequent.

Vowels made more symmetrical:

i i:    y:            u: u
e e: ei 2:    7 7: oi o:
a a: ai

Showing derivations:

AuE  FE     AuE  FE   AuE FE
I    i                u   u
I@   i:               u@  u:
Ii   ei     u\:  y:   oi  oi
e    e
e:   e:     8:   2:   o:  o:
&    e                O   7
&:   e:               O:  7:
&O   e:               Ou\ oi
&i   ai               Ai  7:
a    a
a:   a:

/u:/ is of infrequent occurrence (it doesn't derive from current AuE
non-diphthongal /u\:.@/ as in 'pure'). /y:/ may be pronounced [y],
making the system more symmetrical.

Nouns beginning with vowels usually get an extra n- or r\- at the start
if it wasn't lost, most other remaining initial vowels get an extra r\.
Generally unstressed initial vowels were lost in closed-class words and
remained otherwise, but exceptions abound.

The North Wind and the Sun

Standard Orthography/An informal orthography/IPA/morphemic translation.
The informal orthography is meant to be at a similar level to what
common SMS/email spelling is like, but I never got the hang of it. It's
also meant to have spelling mistakes to give you a better understanding
of the phonemic associations. Note that the IPA consonants are mostly
in terms of todays with regard to the value of r\ and voiced/aspirated
distinctions. I've made no decisions regarding these.

The North Wind's    and the Sun's   they're rarguing bout who's    most
The north winds     and the sun     verarguen        bout whos     most
v@no:f    windz     @n  v@sanz      ve"r\a:g;@n      be:t yz       mois
DEF+north wind-SUBJ and DEF+sun-SBJ 3PPr-argue-ACT  about who-SUBJ most

when a traveller's        come      along wrapped in a warm     coat.
when a chavvelers         cum       along wrap    'na worm      coat
wen  @t;evlaz             kam       @l7N  r\ep    n@wo:m        koid
when INDEF-traveller-SUBJ come-BARE along wrapped in+INDEF+warm coat

('Come' is an irregular verb that does not inflect in the past or
present tenses.)

They're rargeeing that the one who's    he's making   the traveller
therargen         vou  the one who's    its  maiken   the chaveler
ve"r\a:g@n        ve:  v@wan   yz       @smaik@n      v@t;evla
3PPr-agree-ACT    that DEF+one who-SUBJ 3SPr-make-ACT DEF-traveller

taking   his coat off they'll consider him to hard    most.
taken    his coat off vuconsider       him t'hard     most
taik@n   @skoit   7f  vak@nsidar\@m        ta:d       mois
take-ACT his+coat off 3PFt-consider+him    INF+strong most

So  the Northerly's     he's blowing  hard as they can,
So  the Norvelies       its  blolen   hard as thay can
soi v@n7v@liz           @sbl7wn       a:d  @z vai  ken
So  DEF-north_wind-SUBJ 3SPr-blow-ACT hard as he   can

but the more he's blowing,
but the more he's blowen
b@  v@  mo:  @sbl7wn

the more the traveller's    he's folding  his coat round em.
the more the travellers     its fowen     its coat roun  em
v@  mo:  v@t;evlaz          @sf7wn        @skoit   re:n@m
the more DEF-traveller-SUBJ 3SPr-fold-ACT his+coat around+him

Eventually, he's giving up.
ventually   its  given  up
vent;li     @sgiv@n     ap

Then the Sun's    he's shining   out warmly,
ven  v@sanz       @S7:n@n        e:t wo:mli
then DEF+sun-SUBJ 3SPr-shine-ACT out warmly

and the traveller's    he's taking   his coat off.
@n  v@t;evlaz          @staik@n      @skoit   7f
and DEF+traveller-SUBJ 3SPr-take-ACT his+coat off

The North Wind's he was oblige to admit
v@  no:f  windz  iwzabl7:d;    t@mit

that the sun's he was hard more.
ve:  v@  sanz  iwza:d mo:

(PS: In the area this language is spoken in, a north wind isn't
particularly likely to make you pull your coat around you tighter,
unless you really wanted to keep it and it was your only way of holding
it. Northerlies tend to be hot and dry.)

(PPS: There may be errors in the above, I speak English, not Tristan's
Amazing Future English Oil.)