We periodically discuss "why we conlang"; I think the topic comes up every few months or so. Every time it does, I am reminded why I love this list. The fact that somewhere out there, people actually feel the same way I do! Often, the theme of "self expression" comes up. In this particular thread, Amanda noted that things are more meaningful to her in merechi, but less meaningful to everyone else. It is easy to see how particular speech games can divide insider from outsider by the use of certain language incomprehensible to the world at large. Sometimes, conlanging acts as the ultimate extreme of this phenomenon. For example, Angosey sets me as the one insider against the world as outsider. The amount of time someone would have to invest into learning the language to approach my fluency level is far too inhibiting. Therefore, I am its only speaker, I have drawn the linguistic equivalent of a line around myself, a line that no one else can cross. Sometimes I wonder if meaning is inversely proportional to the number of people who understand it. One thing I have struggled with in the past: how to resolve the paradox between intense meaningfulness and utter irrelevancy. I've come to the conclusion that there is no resolution. Angosey is like a memory to me, a memory I can describe to others but never truly give them. A language that requires another language to describe it, and thus imperfectly conveyed. Or, to put it another way: When does art become perverse solipsism? My answer: sidestep, and keep conlanging.