I haven't read all of it, but first thing I noticed - stake and grey have the same vowel. 


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On 20 Jan 2013, at 18:41, "J. M. DeSantis" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> I know it was probably lost in the feed with all of these other conversations going, but would anyone mind looking over the post I made early on Saturday morning and offering some feedback?
> Sincerely,
> J. M. DeSantis
> Writer - Illustrator
> Official Website: <>
> On 1/19/2013 5:54 AM, J. M. DeSantis wrote:
>> Conlang List,
>> First of all, I just want to warn and apologise about the length. I'm listing all of the information here on a short, quick conlang exercise I did, for those who are interested, so this message is going to be quite long, in the end.
>> That said, even though I'm behind on where I want to be in my script for a Chadhiyana graphic novel (which I've started writing and is part of the fantasy world, which includes many conlangs, I've been working on and which. I also mentioned previously, I published a small preview comic for the character, Chadhiyana), I was in the midst of creating new names for some characters and had a startling revelation. Though I've been coining new words and names, stumbling in the dark through the process (seemingly), I realised I've never created a conlang from (relative) start to finish. So I decided to take some time over the past two days and create something new that I could coin some names from and write a few sentences in. I wasn't concerned so much with how the language sounded. Merely this was an exercise I took on to get ideas on paper, commit to choices made, and build a working structure. A sketch, so to speak. Practice. The exercise was both eye opening and surprising. Some of the language, to me, sounds very good to my ear, though, as usual with my conlangs, I find concentrating on the language first results in awkward names. Whereas, creating names first, makes the language difficult to build properly. (Anyone else have this problem or know how to solve it?) But, first the language in full. And note it *is* very small; I was just trying to build something quick to put together a few sentences with, but I thought I'd share it anyway. After that, perhaps a few more comments:
>> As in English: /B, D, K, L, M, N, P, T/
>> F    *f*ar
>> G    *g*et
>> H    *h*orse
>> R    trilled
>> S    initially and finally say*s*. Elsewhere *s*even
>> V    *v*ery
>> W    *w*et
>> I    initially before a vowel, *y*ore. Elsewhere, vowel i
>> A    f*a*ther
>> E    *e*ducate
>> I    st*ee*l
>> U    s*oo*n
>> AI    st*a*ke
>> EI    gr*ey*
>> Word Order: SOV
>> No definite or indefinite articles
>> 2 noun classes: neuter & living things
>> Neuter Endings: L, M, N
>> Living-Things Endings: B, D, K
>> Prefixes (for Morphology):
>> atru-    multiple
>> gei-    half
>> teg-    true
>> al-    inside
>> eig-    non/un
>> asa-    part of
>> ain-    from/of
>> beil    darkness/dark
>> freb    tree
>> tuk    man
>> dad    woman
>> grel    swamp
>> vek    bird
>> teb    beast/animal (non-bird)
>> wud    fish
>> mim    light
>> krel    water
>> ren    sky
>> pak    fire (notice it's classified as a living thing)
>> hib    earth (again, living thing)
>> farn    blade
>> sail    wheel
>> aldad    child
>> geivek    penguin (I don't know why, I really love that penguin means "half bird")
>> ainvek    egg
>> ril    steel
>> tegril    sword
>> eigtuk    corpse
>> tegdad    mother
>> geifarn    knife/dagger
>> ainhib    life
>> atrufarn    fork
>> atrutuk    community/society
>> sed    ear
>> gub    demon
>> wreg    tale
>> verun    time
>> ADJECTIVES: (created by appending the suffix *it* to nouns)
>> wilit    yellow
>> ienit    green
>> lalit    white
>> krimit    black
>> valit    red
>> geivalit    orange
>> tegwulit    blue
>> wulit    purple
>> mimit    gleam/shine
>> eigmimit    dull
>> rilit    strong
>> dadit    caring
>> aldadit    innocent
>> tegmimit    pure
>> tirnit    noble
>> Verbs are conjugated by person and tense. Tense is created by adding a suffix to the root. Person by adding a prefix.
>> Personal Prefixes:
>> a-    he
>> ai-    she
>> i-    it
>> li-    you
>> uli-    you (all)
>> ura-    they
>> ira-    we
>> Tense Suffixes:
>> -ri    Present
>> -rug    Past Perfect
>> -tug    Past Imperfect
>> -aw    Future
>> -it    Imperative
>> Root forms of verbs take the ending *agal* which is dropped during conjugation.
>> eigtukagal    to die
>> dadagal    to give birth/to begin
>> tegdadagal    to care
>> tegrilagal    to fight/to wage war
>> ainhibagal    to live
>> renagal    to fly
>> valitagal    to bleed
>> wulitagal    to rage/to be angry
>> beilagal    to sleep
>> sedagal    to hear
>> tainagal    to kill
>> hinagal    to break/to destroy
>> faimagal    to avenge
>> brukagal    to be
>> PRONOUNS (some):
>> ugra    how
>> fav    thus
>> sego    this
>> la    by
>> hik    for
>> MISC WORDS (which I added while doing the translation below):
>> utu    all
>> ug    it
>> agr    her
>> d    and
>> TRANSLATION EXERCISE: (note, I may have messed up the grammar on the end of the last sentence, but the sentence was so complex (as I tend to write) I was uncertain of some of it's order--corrections on this welcome)
>> Sedit! Lisedri ugra Tegmimit Dad agr aldad aifaimrug la Grelgub aitainrug d Krimit Tegril aihinrug, hik utu verun. Ibrukri tirnit wreg. Fav idadri!
>> Listen! Hear how the Pure Mother avenged her child by slaying the Swamp Demon and broke the Black Sword, for all time. This is a noble tale. Thus it begins!
>> Now, I won't say this is the most wonderful language (or fragment of a language, rather) ever created, however, the exercise was fun to do, and it did produce some fun results. Some of the words I am not so crazy about, and I really dislike the name Grelgub (even for a swamp demon), but the other names are good, at least to me. But the exercise still did not solve a few concerns which always make me uncertain about what I'm doing: roots, word/name length and (as I alluded to earlier) the fact that creating words first can create some abysmal names, however, creating the language from names can create its own set of difficulties (either forcing rules to change or hours of work just on one name until it can be modified to fit the language's rules well and still sound good to the ear). Word and name length is an especial concern of mine because. An example of my concerns is: if a root is two syllables, then add a one syllable prefix to modify it's meaning, and then turn that noun into a verb with a two syllable conjugated ending, you're talking about a five syllable word. The same with compound names. A root word of two syllables becomes three with an adjective--let's go with a prefix in this case. Add the two syllable noun with it's extra single-syllable noun ending that the adjective is describing and quickly you've coined a six syllable name. Names such as that could certainly work in the languages of Chadhiyana's culture (more Indian-based), however, once moving to the more European-esque parts of the world, a name like that is just too long. I feel it's too easy to have long names, and very, very, very difficult (almost impossible) to have one or two syllable names (even if using a single noun, as a classifier added to a root must produce at least two syllables, making one syllable impossible). Anyone's thoughts on this?
>> Anyway, again, this was just a private exercise I took on. It's nothing I'm planning to use, but, considering the nature of the list, I thought I'd share it. Feel free to comment and offer some constructive criticism. After all, feedback is perhaps the best way for me to learn a thing or two. All the best.