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On Thu, 24 Jun 1999, John Cowan wrote:

I have posted a smooth copy which was further down in my final translation
relay contribution, so to fill in the gaps...

> A: The song of the starlings speaks of heroic deeds
> A: The starling's song sings of adventurous deeds;
> A: The song of a noisy bird - of greatnesses it is.
> A: The songs of a bird deal with great things.
> A: Birds' songs concerning important events
> A: The song from the bird is about importance
> A: The bird's song deals with important things.
> A: Important matters (the ones) the bird's song tells.
> A: High things in song of bird
> A: When the little bird sings with greatness,
> A: Bird importantly sings
> A: "if" a bird of a greatness be a singer,
> A: A great bird, if she sings...
> A: A great bird, when it sings a song,
> A: [Brithenig]
The great bird, when it sings its song;
> A: The great bird, its song it sings
> A: The great bird sings a beautiful melody.
> A: The large bird shall sing his song
> A: The large bird shall sing a song of itself
>
> B: In the morning rain the heron does its laundry
> B: The heron washes its clothes in the gentle rain;
> B: It's clothes in the dew the heron (tall bird) dips in and out.
> B: The heron dips its clothing into the dew
> B: The Heron washes its clothes in the dew
> B: A Heron's clothes clean with dew
> B: A heron's clothes are cleaned with dew.
> B: The heron's coat gets cleaned in dew.
> B: for coat of heron in dew a bathing
> B: When the "artist of the river" clears its feathers in the mist,
> B: Riverbird ruffles its feathers in the mist
> B: "if" a bird of a river be a ruffler of its feathers at a mist,
> B: A bird of the river, if she ruffles her feathers in the mist...
> B: A bird of the river, when it ruffles its feathers in the mist,
> B: [Brithenig]
The bird of the river, when it ruffles its feathers in the mist;
> B: bird of the river, its feathers shake in the mist
> B: The bird of the river ruffles its feathers in the mist.
> B: That river bird shall ruffle his feathers in the mist
> B: This bird of the river's feathers shall dance, between the clouds of some ground, a dance of themselves
>
> C: In the night the lark worships the stars
> C: At night the lark prays to the stars;
> C: The stars come out - and the songbird worships the dome [of stars].
> C: And the lark worships the sky at twilight.
> C: And the Lark worships the sky in the evening.
> C: A Lark religiously praises the sky at evening
> C: A lark reverently praises the evening sky.
> C: With fearful respect the lark praises the evening sky.
> C: praises for night-sky in throat of lark
> C: When the songbird glorifies the Even Star,
> C: Songbird glorifies night star
> C: "if" a bird of a song be a glorifier of the star of the night,
> C: A bird of song, if she praises the stars of the night...
> C: A bird of song, when it praises the stars of the night,
> C: [Brithenig]
The bird of the song, when it praises the stars of the night
> C: bird of the song, the stars of the night praise
> C: The bird of song speaks of the greatness of (all) the night-time stars.
> C: That songbird shall speak of the magnificent stars of the night
> C: This song-bird shall speak of the night's awesome stars
>
> D: Who sees the true nature of birds?
> D: But who can see into the heart of birds?
> D: But who sees [and understands] bird-ness?
> D: But who understands being a bird?
> D: But does anyone exist who understands birdhood?
> D: But is the birdish way understood at all?
> D: But does nature really understand bird's sound/thoughts?
> D: But do the spirits (of nature) fully understand the bird's singing?
> D: [this] hymn in ear of gods?
> D: Maybe the "reigners" can hear their song.
> D: When rulers might hear song
> D: "might" every ruler be a hearer of a song.
> D: Then the song, that every ruler hears it...
> D: Then this song, may all rulers listen to it.
> D: [Brithenig]
The song, then all the rulers listen to it.
> D: [and] the song all the leaders listen
> D: To this song all of the illustrious ones listen.
> D: That song shall be heard by every king
> D: Every king shall hear this song.

Essentially, the Brithenig translation preserved the meaning passed on in
Doraya, except that Brithenig translated the poem with a definite article
where Doraya could do without it.  I also omitted the demonstrative marker
that should have been in the final line which may have affected later
translations.

- andrew.

Andrew Smith, Intheologus                       [log in to unmask]

        Lo! thy dread empire, Chaos! is restored;
        Light dies before thy uncreating word:
        Thy hand, great Anarch! lets the curtain fall;
        And Universal Darkness buries All.
                        - Alexander Pope, The Dunciad, Book IV.