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OT, but...
 
>An apocryphal tale that made the rounds concerned one of the work-up
>officers who, spotting a sweating, oil-covered and exhausted stoker
emerging
>from an engine-room hatch, suddenly whipped off his cap, threw it at the
>stoker's feet and yelled, "There's a fire!  Now what are you going to do?"
>The stoker, who'd been on his way to the heads (bathroom), promptly
whipped
>out nature's fire hose and doused the 'flames'!  :-)
 
When I was at RMC (that's Duntroon, not Sandhurst or Kingston!) there was a
story about one of the cadets doing a lantern stalk (that's where you try
to creep as close to a lantern set up at night, without being seen by the
watcher, who is only allowed to walk a few feet away from the dimly lit
lantern. great kudos is given to any who can actually touch the lantern
before being seen by the watcher)
 
Anyway it was raining lightly and the stalker was getting quite close,
hidden well in some vegetation, the watcher, who was a Warrant Officer, got
up and casually walked to where the cadet was laying in the scrub, but he
wasn't looking down to where the cadet was. The cadet's laying there
thinking 'keep still, he can't see me'. The warrant officer undoes his zip
and starts to relieve himself all over where the cadet is laying. The cadet
thinks to himself 'well, war is hell, I'll just put up with this, and see
how close I can get to the lantern' The warrant officer finishs peeing, and
then says, 'You can stand up now cadet.'
 
True Story.
(happened to a senior class member of one of my senior class members best
friend!)
 
Back to diving.